Not a Master Meditator

This is an excerpt from the weekly News-Loveletter. If you would like it sent to your inbox directly (with all the other juicy bits, including a mini joy practice), you can add yourself to my mailing list here.

I’m not a master meditator. Or rather, to avoid boxing myself into a future I don’t choose, I’ve not experienced — past tense — myself as a master meditator. I picture a master meditator as being the sort of person who settles their body and mind into meditation comfortably. At the sound of the gong an hour later, they come to consciousness, sigh, and stretch, having no idea where the time went. I have not visited that place yet.

I meditate silently in nature sometimes for the pleasure of it, clearing my mind as best I can, turning my attention over and over to space and sometimes to inner and outer sensations. But mostly, I meditate to Dr. Joe Dispenza’s guided recordings. He asks me to stretch into feeling and being the future me I choose to be now, in the moment. Dr. Joe takes me out into “space” where, I admit, my grocery list and things I’ve forgotten can be found. More accurately, these thoughts shove space aside with a bump of the hip and announce, “What about this?” I peek a little and put them down again on a good minute. Sometimes, they succeed in fully grabbing my attention and I “awaken” to the meditation in my earbuds minutes later, thinking, “Oof, I missed a chunk.” This kind of thing happens daily.

I’m not laying this bare just to remove myself from a possible pedestal. I’m telling you this because I healed my body and improved my life and relationships a thousand-fold by only exercising this degree of skill in daily meditation. Wow! I think that’s amazing. And it tells me that anyone can do it. Even if those fifteen minute meditations feel like hours.

What I do have going for me is passion, and when I’m all in for seconds or minutes straight, I build up a tremendous amount of high vibration, ecstasy even. My body responds by shaking and passing gas in all directions. These elegances are not the signs I would have asked for to know I’m in deep, but I’ll take them. I’m glad to grok that something is happening on a cellular level.

I have had some awesome mystical moments, mostly tied to my conscious hours. Sometimes, in meditation, I am gifted a vision that I find meaningful. I treasure these moments. The drawing above recaptures one such flash that I got recently in my personal retreat with Dr. Joe at Breitenbush. I had received the word “obvious” from a walking meditation earlier in the day. I felt my path forward could be obvious, abundantly clear. How yummy that was! A little voice then pointed out that such clarity was not always welcome. I laughed. I got that. Then I committed to follow the guidance that comes with clarity. This decision felt purposeful and offered relief.

Later, in a sitting meditation, I caught a glimpse of the fish hook sketched above with something underneath. What is that? I wondered. A castle? And so it was. Only later that evening did the image return so I could mull it over. A fish hook. Yes, that’s for the clarity coming in. I don’t have to chase after clarity any more than one chases after a fish with a hook. That would be silly. I only need tend my energy, my attitude, my vibration, and the most effective path towards my dreams will emerge and be “hooked” to my present-day felt experience. Obvious. Easy.

How do I know I’m hooking my dreams in daily life? I may wonder, as I did when I first saw that castle upside down. I might remove a happening from the hook and prepare to toss it aside as accidental “by catch.” But this image asks me to explore everything that happens to me as a possible gift. Just as I did not see the castle at first in the inverted image, so I might miss the value of what comes my way.

Why a castle? It kind of looks like Disney, doesn’t it? I’m not a huge fan of Disney, but I know it’s also called the “Magic Kingdom.” So I’d guess it represents what I’m calling to myself, which will appear as if my magic. This “magic” (we call it quantum mechanics now) is where I want to be — both in meditation and in my waking hours, using conscious joy practices. As always, I’m so grateful for these deeply felt insights as well as the other fruits of my less-than-masterful meditations.

Paired with the practices I teach in the Core Alignment with Joy series, those meditations saved me.

Do you appreciate the ways that meditation, or some other contemplative practice, positively impacts your life? Are you ever underwhelmed by your skill in something you practice daily?