Yep, Yep, Uh-Huh
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“You’re not going to believe what happened last night,” I tell Seda.
“What?” she asks.
“Trinidad and some of his friends called me. His friends had just discovered that he does magic, that he’s a master of illusion. And they wanted my story of how he got started 20 years ago.”
“Wow,” said Seda.
“Yeah, it was sweet. I had just kind of “met” them earlier while I was on the phone with Trin for some business.”
“Uh-huh,” said Seda.
“I’m still kind of in awe that they would think to call me, though. It was like I got invited to the party.”
“Yeah,” said Seda.
I enjoy talking with Seda. I know she’s listening and her attention is on me fully. But somehow I’m not quite getting through to her how monumental this is for me.
“Seda?” I ask. She meets my eyes.
“You know how we were talking about open-ended questions the other day?”
Seda nods and a little light goes on. “Yeah,” she says. “I bet you’d like some of those right now!”
I laugh.
“Okay,” she says and begins to think. This is an awkward moment in learning together. It took courage for me to ask for this support, and it takes courage for her to do something new with an open heart.
Our relationship has tons of easy, happy moments to balance this big ask, so I know we’re good. (That’s a relationship tip, by the way.)
We talked about open-ended questions recently—we’re both cultivating skills here. I know she’s not only looking for an open-ended question to ask me, but one that relates to my inner experience and is something she has an interest in.
“I’m guessing you felt honored to be invited to the party,” she said. “And I’m wondering if it was hard to decide how to tell that story?”
“Yes!” I say. “I love that you asked that. I picked his first magic trick at age five and the story rolled from there. I was in awe at the energy of curiosity and rapt attention on the other other end of the phone line. Their eager listening made it easy and joyful for me to slow down and really put my heart in it.”
“Honestly, that may be the thing I loved about it the most—the co-creation. I could not have told that story in that way without them. It was so much fun. And I have to say that the moment hangs like a pendant on the necklace of my parenting-the-adult-Trinidad experience. Thank you so much for asking.”
I’m guessing I’m not alone in sometimes longing for a deeper conversational experience than uh-huh, yep, wow, yep, yep. And I’m guessing that you, like me, are sometimes the “yepper.”
We can learn to do better. Here’s a video tutorial I made this week to help. The learning is not all though. The practice is what counts. Learning and practicing in community grows confidence and competence more quickly.
Join my free Joyful Communication workshop THIS WEEKEND by registering here. Scroll to bottom for all time options. Bring a friend! And prepare yourself for the launch of our Joyful Communication Series.
It’s going to rock. Guaranteed.*
*All introductory workshop series come with the Everybody’s Happy Guarantee. Why? Because if you learn this stuff and practice it, everything in your life will change for the better. I’m sure of it.
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You can pass the link below on to friends or family. It has all 4 workshop times, if you head to the bottom:
https://www. collierconnections.com/free- workshop-registration-699-1-1- 1-1