When Things Get Messy
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Recently, I opened the back door to this cuteness. Leo is adorable, right? And no, that wasn’t my only thought. It crossed my mind that Leo would bring all he’d rolled in into the house. My brain even raced ahead to think of winter coming and the mud and straw that Leo would track in since we recently refilled the old pond. My heart sank and sang for him at the same time.
I was talking with Char last night in our Joy Collective meeting about the push-pull of energy that mitigates our bliss to a flatline if best. It’s one thing to have this experience looking at my dear dog on the stoop. It’s another to relate the story as “good-bad” to friends and family.
“Leo is adorable. And I’m already having nightmares about the mud next fall and winter. What’s new with you?”Doesn’t your heart just sink with that one? Our brains perceive the world with a negativity bias for survival. I have compassion for myself, for all of us, in experiencing a negative perception first. What we do with that perception though, is up to us.
I want my response to be authentic and feel better than the example above. Just because I don’t report my worries to the world does not mean I don’t have them. I have feelings about a million things I don’t report on, and that doesn’t make me inauthentic. The question is, where will I place my attention so that I and my companion will feel best while fully being real with each other. “Real” does not have to mean “including the bad news.” I’m making a conscious choice to lead in this cultural shift. I can decide what news I want to put my attention on as a practice of feeling into my best self overall.
My adoration of Leo is authentic. In fact, seeing him sprinkled with straw sparks a love in me that is deep enough to embrace and even adore this mess. Wow, that’s a love to celebrate. Do you smile widely at the teachers and parents who brave super-messy art and science projects with kids? (Yes, Sherri, I’m smiling at you!) This is a triumph of play over resistance, creative chaos over the “safety” of static order. Such an embrace can be exhilarating.
That’s the energy I want to come from when I relay the story about Leo to you and all. May I speak it joyfully while dusting the grass from his coat on the porch. “Look at this guy. He brought home a hundred souvenirs. May this remind me to go out and get messy.”
When do you notice yourself reaching toward fun then pulling back? Might you become more aware of the push-pull this week, reframing your thoughts to focus on the needs met in the chaos?