When It Becomes Too Much
This is an excerpt from the weekly News-Loveletter. If you would like it sent to your inbox directly (with all the other juicy bits, including a mini joy practice), you can add yourself to my mailing list here.
From this week’s YouTube (with intro!), Ho Rainforest, Olympic National Park
In the past couple weeks, my workload has grown significantly. And I’m grateful! (That’s my joy in practice — focus on needs met. :) There are new beings in my world teaching me new things. New laughter, new tears. And it’s a lot. I wobble at times, trying to catch my balance.
There are moments — like … a 5 hour long moment last Saturday when I created a 3 second intro for my YouTube videos. Consider: I didn’t know what it meant to “subscribe” to a YouTube video as of 6 months ago. Producing my own … this is a steep learning curve.
I chose the music, animated an image, felt proud and full of myself, then attempted to upload it all on Kapwing. (Pronounced Kuh-pwing! Happily, my online editing program has a fun moniker and is made with love in San Francisco.) The 2 hour upload, crash, upload, crash, attempt to insert transition, researching transitions, rinse and repeat, wore. Me. Down.
My happy face had melted into a puddle by the time I got the job done. I kept breathing, feeling grateful that the topic for this week in the Joy Collective is breath. I’m bringing my attention to it now. Join me in some deep, Ujjiyi (or some other) breathing while we read/write?
Relieved to be finished, I sat back and realized the problem: I’d had too many programs running. Kapwing crashes when that happens. And guess what? I do too. With Zombie eyes, I cracked a grin. Out of the chaos, clarity emerges. Step back sooner. Reflect on what the obstacle is rather than just hurtling myself towards it until some part of me flops over the upper edge. Persistence is fantastic — and perhaps it could be easier. I could have let some things go, closed a few windows.
What in your world is a lot for you right now? Is persistence your friend or is your tenacity masking an opportunity for self-reflection that could shed light on an easier way? Are you making space for gratitude in the midst of chaos for these juicy opportunities to learn?