Unbelievable Mushrooms

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Mushrooms, in Austria, in JULY, if you can believe it.

Last year, Kerstin told me they were eating Chanterelles they found in the forest by their Austrian cottage … in JULY. Excuse me? July?? I saw the pictures, and weirdly, some part of me still didn’t buy it.

Some things you have to experience to believe. And this is honestly a little embarrassing and unnerving for me. Because I’ve known Kerstin a long time and I trust her infinitely. I saw the pictures. And yet part of me, subconsciously and without complete logic, thought that it couldn’t be. Until I saw them for myself in their forest environment. In July. Chanterelles, Boletes, and so many more. Longer nights, warm days, and plenty of rain call them up from the forest duff. But it’s so unlike my Oregon summer experience.

I read about a study once where researchers went door to door and asked folks if they’d ever felt left out or judged according to some visible aspect of their bodies, and most or all had. Then, they were told about how transgender people experience prejudice and hostility in many forms because they look different. That the violence is further escalated by the despair and suicidality transpeople suffer because of constant threats and assaults. According to the latest statistics, 82% of transgender individuals have thought about suicide and 40% have attempted it, the highest rates among youth. Heartbreaking. So, back to the study. After having been heard about their own experience of being judged, the folks standing in their doorways grew compassion for transpeople who have also been judged and hurt, and this compassionate cushion lasted at least a year.

Apparently believing in anything, including suffering and mushrooms, is easier if we’ve experienced it ourselves. For this reason, Seda and I are “out” as a transfamily. We are “open books” to our world community, freely demonstrating just one way that being trans and living together can look.

We’ve all had that moment when we realized that what we’ve been believing is not true. It’s helpful to remember how our beliefs have changed so that we can hold them with a more open hand. And it’s also important to share our journeys with one another so we learn, over and over again, that we are not alone.

When have you had trouble believing something, then felt embarrassed about it afterwards? And when have you asked to hear another’s story and found them subsequently more open to hearing your own?