The Dirty Work

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“You’re putting the straw in the minivan?” The farm and feed guy looks incredulous.

“Yep. Right on top of the bins of compost and dirt.” I lift the hatch and he smiles.

Spring is a time of transformation. The seats come out of the minivan and her DIY marmoleum floor is put the test with several large totes of dirt that are shuttled across town to our garden in preparation for seeding.

Transformation is a messy time. I hang my “dirt pants” up and skip washing between wears for a month. Getting smart about what work is necessary helps me enjoy the dirty work more altogether.

This is important in my inner work, too. I imagine a long list of thoughts and actions that are unhelpful and take energy. Doom scrolling, worrying about things I have no ability to change, rehashing the past from a victim perspective … I have choice about whether to do these. And choice comes with awareness.

A comfortable state of easy satisfaction is my baseline, I’ve decided, and I do notice when I’m feeling otherwise. What follows the noticing is a choice. As I write this, I notice tension in my body and mind. I once called this anxiety. Now I see that I’m excited. There’s a big haul today, a full load. I’ve swept my inner mini van clean, and I’m ready to go.

I relax my face, remembering my midwife’s wise words in birthing — do nothing extra. I can enjoy my excitement and release some of my physical tension at the same time. This gives me more energy to accomplish what I want to. Relaxing the muscles in my jaw, I breathe deeply and sigh. I enjoy sitting here, with you at my fingertips. I enjoy imagining that you may take a breath now, sit a little deeper, and exhale your tension with me.

We are in this together, you know. This seasonal transformation — we are co-creating it. Your reading and responding affects my writing. Our interconnection offers vitality both directions.

I thank you for transforming with me. It is a singular pleasure to find my way with you and to know we are sharing a similar path. Peace and joy to you in your dirty work today. And may all that you are planting grow and fruit beyond your wildest dreams.

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Transplanting

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Lingering Twilight