Big Picture Priming

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At 5:30 a.m. Friday, I wrapped up my meditation and priming. I opened my phone to see an image of my assistant Grace working on our latest video edit using her television for a monitor. Cumbersome at best, this solution to her half-broken laptop at least celebrated ingenuity. To be fair, the laptop had never been up to the video production we are now doing together.

Oh dear, I said. What’s next? (This was surely not the ease I’d been priming for. Thankfully, I’d had a good dose of that easy feeling in my priming session to make up for the lack here!) Grace sent me a list of used laptops she’d thought of investing in. I laid back on my bed, making space for my thoughts. I had always wanted Grace, who lives in the Philippines, to work with tech equivalent to mine. Could we front her the money to buy a new Mac laptop? Our 20+ year old hot water heater has been leaking. I decided it could wait.

When I told Grace we would loan her the money for a new Mac, she sat in stunned silence. Then, she began computing the many ways this investment could help her get ahead. Our projects would move faster, and she could use it at school and in her other employment. We celebrated that I could commit to giving her enough hours that paying off the laptop would be easy over time. Grace thanked me profusely.

We both felt excited about our present-future together. (Here was the connection and fun I’d primed for!) I asked Grace to refresh me on her 5 and 10 year goals. Trained as a chef, Grace is saving money to open a food cart and then a restaurant, then she plans to bring her mother home from working abroad to run it. Grace said she’d like to make time for the Joy Collective even then, as the work supports her financially and in other ways.

“When I was putting together that last video, Kristin, I was so moved by the stories people shared. They are getting closer to each other, and it’s sweet to learn from them as they practice. I actually cried watching.”

Then the money wire wouldn’t go through. Western Union suggested a work around. I could send it to someone else. (Brilliant.) Grace and I problem-solved and I finally sent it in two parts through two banks. And less than a year ago, I’d felt reluctant to trust my passcodes for the website to my then new assistant Grace. So much can change so quickly.

Tearing out my hair, I remembered my friend Andrea in the Joy Collective and breathed into a priming of everything working out in ways I couldn’t expect (thank you, Joy Collective!). My heartbeat slowed. The benefits of priming are immediate. Seda came to stand near and be my solid. I told her I’d gone from floating in expansiveness to sitting on the tiniest possible scrap of the universe, and that maybe it was a mousetrap. She laughed.

The money went through. On the other side of the planet, Grace had spent the past eight hours at the mall waiting. She collected her young son and two bags that held her Mac dreams. Grace texted me a video of the unboxing and I cried. I had the good fortune to support this multi-talented mama in a way that benefited me and my family, too. Co-creating, we’d stepped into flow together. We practiced faith in the goodness of our universe.

I climbed into bed exhausted. It had not been the easy and playful day that I’d been priming for. But it had been meaningful. Reflecting on the depth of care I’d experienced in my relationship with Seda, Grace, and my soul, I felt overcome with celebration. Big picture, this was the confidence, competence, connection, and unity that I’d been priming for all along.

Sometimes things don’t go as planned. Often, the wonder begins when something breaks. What we build in its place reflects a better picture of our new, expanded self. A better picture of our network. Often, our rebuild is a more comprehensive picture of Love.

When has the breaking of something led to new beginnings that you could scarcely have dreamt of?