A New Focus

This is an excerpt from the weekly News-Loveletter. If you would like it sent to your inbox directly (with all the other juicy bits, including a mini joy practice), you can add yourself to my mailing list here.

Enjoying my worklove.

“Can you give me an example?” John asked. His brow furrowed as he pondered what I’d meant by feeling into my experience and the thoughts beneath. John had attended my free workshop last Saturday (sign up for the next one here). He’d shared excitement about a shift in perspective and new access point to emotions. Now, John wondered how my practices worked in daily life. We had some time to talk while I prepared soup.

“Those vegetables,” I said, waving an arm to include the parsnips, potatoes, carrots, and celeriac on the counter behind me. “When I look at them, I feel overwhelmed. Which is not the way I want to greet these beautiful plant offerings, many of whom are from my garden. I have a relationship with them.” John agreed that they were a vibrant bunch and worthy of appreciation.

“I know that when I feel tense or overwhelmed, there’s a subterranean thought at work.” I paused and went looking. “I have a sense of not being in my power, that there’s a ‘need’ to cook this soup, rather than me choosing to cook it to meet many needs. When I sense myself ‘having’ to make soup while perceiving that I have little time to do it in, the joy drains away.” I closed my eyes, then inhaled deeply. Exhaling, I lined up with the feeling I was looking for.

“I want to feel spacious and joyful about cooking soup,” I told him. I began to feel these feelings as I named them aloud. “I can’t find the way to frame cooking so that it fits this feeling profile right now. So I’ll try a different tack to find it. I will focus instead on all the needs that are met in this moment instead of on my perception of unmet needs,” I said. I relaxed my body. “I’m enjoying our conversation. There’s a sense of exploration there, companionship, and sweet connection as we share what matters to us.”

I put my hand on my heart. “As I say this, I’m fully attending to these qualities in their wholeness. My heart is filling with warmth, softening. I feel a sense of aliveness. The vegetables are still there, but now when I look at them, I feel less of a demand to make soup. I see that I have said yes to this moment of connecting with you, to washing root vegetables, and to sharing in a way that allows me to feel more spacious. As I’m saying this, my heart is opening. I have a sense of being in my power again. I feel the joy. I still don’t know how or whether all the things I want to do will get done, but I care much less about that. I’m ok with things as they are. Better than ok! I’m really grateful for this moment, you here, these vegetables, and the fact that I took the time to notice and then shift my attention to experience a new way of being.”

I looked at John for the first time in a couple of minutes. I’d been focusing inward. I saw him nodding. “Thanks, “ he said. “That makes more sense.” I smiled. Speaking aloud my subconscious thoughts, then focusing on needs met is such a powerful part of my practice. It’s hard to avoid the good all around me when I open my inner eye to it.

In which moments do you crave a new perspective for greater joy and empowerment? Do you have the skills and practice to make the shift alone with ease? If not, I invite you to sign up for my next free workshop here.